Illuminare
by My name is Birdie
Summary: As he begins to slip out of Loki's mind control, Clint finds himself curious about the Norse god. There was a reason he never told anyone what the scepter showed him. Slevig wasn't far off when he called it "enlightenment." Clint/Loki
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So this is not only my first Avengers fan fiction, it's also my very first shounen ai as well as my first fan fiction in about three years or so. To be honest, it made me nervous about trying to start writing again. I've had a mental block for a while now and somehow the Avengers managed to kick me out of my funk. Please let me know what you think, remember that I've been out of the loop for a while now. And before I forget, I don't own Avengers. **

**XXX**

Clint Barton couldn't exactly say when it was he started thinking of the god of mischief as more than just the man that had made him a prisoner in his own body. Though if he had to guess he'd put it somewhere around the time before the attack on the helicarrier.

While most people thought those controlled by Loki's magic were not fully aware of their surroundings at all times, Clint saw everything unfold before his eyes. So naturally, when he saw Loki by himself, his other "minions" as Clint mentally called them, off busying themselves with other more important matters, he decided to see what he could learn.

Being Loki's personal slave wasn't what he'd call "fun", it did have its perks; like that moment for example. Loki turned to him with a curious expression, obviously amused at whatever expression he saw on Clint's face.

"You look like you have something important to say. Have there been any developments?"

"No, I actually just came over to see what you were doing."

It was an unusually normal thing to say while under control, but even then Clint was beginning to regain little pieces of himself.

Loki raised an eyebrow before replying, "I was just thinking."

Clint rolled his eyes. "Well you seem to do that a lot."

Loki's lips twitched into a smile for half a second before he seemed to remember himself and his mouth was pulled down into a frown. Clint's expression unknowingly mirrored Loki's.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"Why would you give me a penny for my thoughts?"

Clint rolled his eyes again, "It's an expression."

Loki sighed. "I couldn't possibly expect someone like _you_ to understand," he said coldly. He looked up at Clint again, eyes hardening when they met his.

Barton blinked in mild surprise. For the god of lies, he'd been almost honest. But he suspected that might have something to do with him still being under Loki's influence, naturally Loki would be more honest than if he hadn't.

Loki stood up then, straightening to full intimidating height. "Let us prepare for the attack."

And with that Clint was dismissed and Loki returned to staring at nothing with the same icy stare. It was then that Clint decided there was something behind all the bitterness and he wanted to find out it was. Even if he had to peel back the layers to find it. Because it was obvious that whatever it was that Clint kept catching glimpses of, was buried so deep that Loki probably didn't even know it was there. But then, Barton had a way of seeing things other people didn't.

**END NOTE:**

**Let me know if you think either Hawkeye or Loki is out of character. Also let me know if you think there's things I should change. Please leave reviews, they make me happier than cake. **


	2. Chapter 2

Clint prided himself in not being easily surprised; he was a S.H.E.I.L.D agent after all. But the day the tesseract became activated, he found himself stunned when a portal opened up in front of him and a man appeared.

Clint Barton was also not easily intimidated, yet when the Norse god straightened himself and aimed the scepter at the other agents, he found himself immobilized in awe. In the split second that it took for him to regain control of himself, Loki was already in front of him, a wicked grin spreading across his face.

"You have heart," he said coolly with a pleased expression. He touched the scepter to Clint's chest and he found himself inwardly flinching, half expecting it to go right through him. From what he'd seen, the god of mischief had no qualms with killing people. It was obvious from the beginning that he wasn't human.

A chill crept through his chest radiating outward from his heart. Everywhere he looked he saw a blinding white light until the light was so bright and intense, he could feel it rushing through him.

_When Clint could see again, he noticed he was no longer in the lab with the menacing god. Instead he was in what appeared to be a library, judging by the shelf-lined walls covered in heavy leather-bound books. Under normal circumstances, say like when he knew what to expect, he'd like the quiet atmosphere. However, as it was, he was too worried about coming under attack to be able to appreciate the silence. _

_Just then the door opened with a protesting creak and a figure slipped in. The figure looked up then and Clint was startled to see the familiar green eyes of Loki looking back at him, albeit from a younger face. Clint grabbed for the bow he always kept on his back only to find that it wasn't there. Before he could panic, he noticed that Loki wasn't looking at him so much as he was _through_ him. _

_The younger Loki sighed, sinking into a chair beside the window, pulling a book off the table beside him. He flipped through the pages absently, eyes hardly moving across the page before he shut it with an impatient flick. _

_Clint watched Loki's eyes roam the room, searching for something. That's when he heard voices. Among them was obviously the sound of Thor's booming voice. Apparently Loki had also heard his brother judging by the way his eyes widened. Curious despite himself, Clint headed toward the voices in the hall, slipping through the heavy doors that Loki had entered through like a ghost. _

Not the time to be thinking how cool that is, Barton_, he chided himself. A moment after he entered the corridor, the doors opened behind him and Loki followed after him. He stopped in front of Thor and a group of people who could only be the Warriors Three and Lady Sif. _

"_You're back, I see," Loki responded warmly enough. _

"_We've actually been back for a while now," Thor said sheepishly. _

_Loki examined the armor and gear each of them wore. "You were out brawling again, weren't you?"_

_The god of thunder fidgeted uncomfortably but it was the dark haired woman behind him that finally answered with an exasperated look at Thor. "Yes we were."_

"_You know I would have come with if you had asked," Clint wasn't quite sure what to call the expression that was on Loki's face as he said that. _

_If Thor had looked uncomfortable before, he looked even more uneasy now. "I am truly sorry, Loki, but I thought maybe you would much rather spend the day studying like you usually do."_

_Loki's expression looked hurt for half a heartbeat before it was quickly replaced by the cool expression that was usually there. _

"_I thank you for considering my studies," he replied equally as placidly. "But maybe next time you will consider who is better suited to fighting alongside you." _

_Relief washed over Thor's face. "Next time then, brother!" Thor replied happily before clapping him on the back and continuing down the corridor with the others. _

_Once the others were out of sight, Loki's expression fell. He glanced the way Thor had gone momentarily before returned to the library. _

The light swallowed his vision again before clearing. Clint found himself once again in the lab with Loki standing in front of him. Deciding now was not the time to think over what he'd seen, he turned to his new master.

"Sir, Fury's stalling."

"So, you intend to bury us like the pharaohs of old," Loki smirked. A chill went down Clint's spine. There was no mistaking it. The man before him was not the same one from the vision or whatever it was that he'd seen. This man was much…colder. As Hawkeye, Clint Barton had taken down many hardened criminals, but Loki was dangerous even by his standards.

It was then that he began to realize how much trouble he was in. Not only that, but he was the one helping to unleash such a man onto an unsuspecting world. _Well_, he thought as they sped away in the car, _we're all royally screwed_.


	3. Dear Lovely Readers, please read!

**Dear lovely readers:**

**I'm super sorry for the long wait. I was getting ready for Anime Southeast for a good two weeks (there was a LOT to do, especially for our panel) and everything took a lot longer than I expected it to. Don't worry though, I will update soon, there's just a few things I have to do first. Like make cookies for all the people that were awesome, especially those that bought me food. Who knew you had to eat at least once a day? (That was a joke, if you couldn't tell, I'm not very funny). Also, I'm hoping to go back and edit the first two chapters since I noticed there was a lot more I should have added. Thank you for sticking with me. And reviews are awesome. Leave a good one and I'll find some way to send you ACTUAL cookies. (That's not a bribe or anything *shifty eyes*) Anyway, if you have suggestions or criticism please go right ahead and tell me. I'm very out of practice with fan fiction. **

**Sincerely, **

**The author, **_**My name is Birdie**_


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